(no subject)
Mar. 10th, 2009 12:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
insubordination[ he loved her.
it wasn't necessarily a new revelation. he's always loved her, in his own way. he's always been deeply protective of her, deeply in awe of her, worshiped her, followed her, loved her, ever since they first met. riza hawkeye has known him better than anyone else in the world, and he the same with her. to say that he loved her, simply that, does a disservice to how deep that love runs. she is it. his other half, and she always has been, and always will be.
admitting that, openly, to her, was still a work in progress. even moreso now that they were rebuilding the country, and they had to pretend otherwise in public. it was hard, to keep that emotion continually under lock and key. they all but lived together, now, and in private, he was allowed to be affectionate and trail after her and annoy her and tease her and kiss her, but in public, he was forbidden, quite literally, to acknowledge her as anything but a very close friend.
he teases the line, sometimes, but rarely. roy is rigid in his belief system, and he knows that riza loves him not because she has to, but because she just does. still, sometimes it's hard to pretend that nothing has happened, and he has spent much of the day whining to himself in his head that his life is difficult. but once they get home, and riza is sorting through the mail that he ignored, and the door is closed, he immediately wraps his arms around her waist from behind, burying his face into her hair, making himself comfortable as she reads what is surely the nineteenth reminder from edward elric that the wedding is in three weeks, and roy and riza must be there.
and as riza reads, roy tugs on her, gently. ]
Dance with me.
[ it's almost murmured, it's said so quietly, comfortably, into her hair. but the tug is insistent. ]
it wasn't necessarily a new revelation. he's always loved her, in his own way. he's always been deeply protective of her, deeply in awe of her, worshiped her, followed her, loved her, ever since they first met. riza hawkeye has known him better than anyone else in the world, and he the same with her. to say that he loved her, simply that, does a disservice to how deep that love runs. she is it. his other half, and she always has been, and always will be.
admitting that, openly, to her, was still a work in progress. even moreso now that they were rebuilding the country, and they had to pretend otherwise in public. it was hard, to keep that emotion continually under lock and key. they all but lived together, now, and in private, he was allowed to be affectionate and trail after her and annoy her and tease her and kiss her, but in public, he was forbidden, quite literally, to acknowledge her as anything but a very close friend.
he teases the line, sometimes, but rarely. roy is rigid in his belief system, and he knows that riza loves him not because she has to, but because she just does. still, sometimes it's hard to pretend that nothing has happened, and he has spent much of the day whining to himself in his head that his life is difficult. but once they get home, and riza is sorting through the mail that he ignored, and the door is closed, he immediately wraps his arms around her waist from behind, burying his face into her hair, making himself comfortable as she reads what is surely the nineteenth reminder from edward elric that the wedding is in three weeks, and roy and riza must be there.
and as riza reads, roy tugs on her, gently. ]
Dance with me.
[ it's almost murmured, it's said so quietly, comfortably, into her hair. but the tug is insistent. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-03-10 05:43 am (UTC)because the thing is- there wasn't a whole lot that was new. roy mustang was still her superior. roy mustang was still out there, saving the world. roy mustang was still reckless, and ridiculous, and unbelievable, and riza hawkeye was still, forever, madly in love with him. those were all things she was quite used to knowing, quite comfortable in her world view and her place within it. these were all things she assumed - correctly or incorrectly - would always remain the same.
the new factor added into this, however, is the sudden shift in that last bit. not in her feelings, not in roy, but in the sudden act that has brought them both to a point that they can no longer ignore it. a place where she now knows, without a doubt, that roy feels the same. that it was worth more to act, than to sit in silence. it had been easier, when it was just the two of them. when they'd been on their vacation, with roy slowly healing. easier, when it didn't matter if they stayed in bed all day, with no one to see, or interact with, where it was just the two of them and the soft, cool breeze through the balcony.
now they were back in central, back to their usual roles, with the only difference being that behind closed doors. it's hard, harder than riza ever thought it would be, but they are each in their own ways doing their best. there is always the space, there is always the tone, there is, always, a distance between them. up until the moment that door closes behind them, and all of that restraint - especially for roy - immediately melts away. that is not to say that riza doesn't mind it, that she herself feels like she can breathe for the first time that day, letting herself relax and fall back into his arms as she finishes looking over the notes, the letters, the bills. ]
Hmmm. [ she is still reading, when his request comes, thus the somewhat non committal response. but then she realizes what he's asking, and she kind of turns her head to look back at him. ] Did you say dance?
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Date: 2018-03-10 05:50 am (UTC)[ he peers over her shoulder, now, to look and see what she's reading. never again will roy take for granted his ability to read, and when he sees it's just a meaningless announcement for some new tax (that he helped draft), he loses interest immediately in favor of turning her around, gently, to face him. ]
I did. [ nonchalantly enough, slipping an arm around her waist with a practiced ease. ] I asked, actually. If we're being specific.
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Date: 2018-03-10 07:27 pm (UTC)a task for tomorrow. now? roy is slipping his arms around her, and she's looking back up at him with with a vaguely amused expression. ]
Oh, well, if you asked... [ but she's already tossing the opened, and some unopened letters back onto the small table by the door, deciding instead to wrap her arms around his neck. ]
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Date: 2018-03-12 02:59 am (UTC)yet. he hopes.
for now, he moves riza in a lazy circle, a soft hum against her temple as he thinks. ]
I have to practice, for the wedding we're being dragged to. [ musing, thoughtful, into her hair. ] I'm sure I'll be expected to do something.
[ edward doesn't really have anyone else. ]
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Date: 2018-03-12 12:42 pm (UTC)stepping with him is easy enough, and riza lets her eyes fall closed, not needing to see to be able to follow. ]
Hmmm. Oh yes, that we're being dragged too. You could always tell him now.
[ which she knows won't happen. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-03-12 01:28 pm (UTC)[ though he supposes it would alleviate some form of anxiety, to just send the damn card. he considers that for a moment before making a mental note to call later. for however brilliant edward elric is, he can be a little dense.
riza feels relaxed, which warms him slightly, and roy is quiet for a long moment, deep in thought. ]
Who do you think is going to be there?
[ this could be remedied by asking edward directly but that's stupid. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-10 02:06 am (UTC)[ she says simply, but she knows what he's thinking about it. knows he will probably call, might send a note, might do something else entirely. she feels herself smile a little, comforted by something so basic, as they continue to step.
if riza wanted to, she could probably just focus on his breathing, or his heartbeat. that knowledge alone eases into her bones.
there's another thoughtful noise as she steps in time with him, turning in their spot. ]
Their teachers, I'd imagine. Both of their families. Gracia and Elicia...
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Date: 2018-04-10 02:23 am (UTC)there's a soft hum, in thought. izumi, gracia, elicia. the rockbells, the individuals in resembool . . . alphonse and may, obviously, and perhaps people from xing . . . ]
Briggs?
[ it's a slight prodding question. he's really asking whether they'd have to fake it, but not wanting to spell it out so bluntly.
( he stopped pretending gracia didn't know months ago. ) ]
no subject
Date: 2018-05-17 02:31 pm (UTC)the question makes her pause. ]
I'm not sure. [ is her honest answer. ] Possibly, but it'd also mean she would need to leave her station to come.